Doctor Who Rewind - The Romans

Alright, apart from, blowing up the Daleks, out cunning the Sensorites, short circuiting the Cyber-Men, stunning the Sontaran, zapping the Zygons, ambushing the Autons, man handling the Monoids, running away from Sea Devils and, not being sick when faced with the vile Scaroth, what has the Doctor, ever done for us?

Well, he's given us some inspirational lyre playing that's what (a lyre in case you were wondering is a small hand held harp type instrument used mainly in ancient times), as aptly demonstrated in The Romans, the forth story from the second series, comprising of four episodes.

In a slightly confusing opening, the TARDIS materialises on the edge of a cliff, and tumbles over the edge. We cut to three weeks later, and the crew are living it up in a Roman villa in ancient Rome, lounging around eating grapes and drinking wine. Quite how this came to be isn't touched on except that the owner of the villa has gone off to campaign in Gaul.

In these opening scenes everyone seems really relaxed and the dialogue flows as easily as we've ever heard it between the characters, as they exchange some rather witty lines. This is thanks to the writing of Dennis Spooner, who also wrote several other Who stories and worked on Gerry Anderson's Stingray and Thunderbirds.

At one point the Doctor, having a joke about Ian's surname Chesterton, decides to romanise it to Chestertine. And later, when Barbara and Ian are obviously inebriated with wine, Barbara succeeds in fooling Ian to try and get ice from the freezer for their drinks.

The crew seem to be enjoying the humourous touch that has been brought to the script, which is something that producer Verity Lambert was very keen to bring into the programme and try out.

After Barbara and Vicki return from a trip to the local town market, where they are spotted by slave traders, the Doctor decides he's off to Rome and he's taking Vicki with him. Barbara and Ian, have little say in the matter and are left to carry on enjoying themselves.

Unfortunately they don't enjoy themselves long as the slave traders from earlier break into the villa, capture them and sell them to different owners. Barbara's owner eventually turning out to be none other than a man highly placed in the court of emperor Cesar Nero.

Meanwhile, the Doctor and Vicki spot a corpse lying in some bushes, it being famed lyre player Maximus Pettulian. A passing centurion, seeing the Doctor with the lyre, mistakes him for the dead Maximus and offers to accompany him on the way to his engagement with Cesar Nero. While staying at an Inn that night the centurion contacts the assassin of the real Maximus and instructs him to kill the Doctor.

Fortunately the assassin is overpowered by the Doctor and escapes. The fight scene between him and the assassin is something else. Hartnell seems to channel some unearthly power and goes at the poor fellow with both barrels. I even felt sorry for the guy, as he was being beaten without mercy by The Doctor, who is having far to much fun for his own liking. He even tells Vicki that he likes a bit of the old fisticuffs every now and again.

The Doctor decides to keep up the ruse as Pettulian, and continues to Rome to meet the emperor.

Poor Ian, by this point has been chained, and sent for duty in the galley of a roman ship where he and his fellow rowers are subsequently ship wrecked in a mighty storm, in which they over power the Roman guard who has charge over them.

Ian finds himself washed up on the shore. Another of the slaves with him, they decide to go on to Rome to try and find Barbara, who has become the handmade of the emperor. On the way there though they are recaptured and taken to the arena to be trained as gladiators. At this point some stock footage of lions (courtesy of MGM) is inserted for effect.

At some points during this story, I felt like I'd put in the wrong DVD, and was actually watching Carry On Doctor Who, such is the level of farce. Especially in the scenes where Nero, who had taken a shine to poor Barbara, is chasing her around the bed chamber and trying to avoid is wife. By this point, the Doctor and Vicki, who have also arrived to see Nero, never get to actually see Barbara, always narrowly missing her, in that classic theatrical fashion of farce.

When the Doctor gives a lyre recital so delicate and light of touch that no one can hear anything (as he's not actually playing) the emperor gets suspicious and hatches a plan to send him to the arena to play, for the enjoyment of the lions!

Ian and his slave friend arrive to fight against each other for the pleasure of Nero and a very surprised Barbara, but decide instead to fight their way out, vowing to return to rescue her.

The Doctor is warned Nero wants to send him to the arena and discovers the emperors plans for a new Rome, thus working out the year is 64AD, in which Rome burns down.

In a comical scene between the Doctor and Nero, in which he is told he is to go to the arena, the Doctor replies that he knows already. That its bound to be a roaring success and that he'll play something everyone can get their teeth into.

Meanwhile out of Nero's gaze the doctor accidentally sets fire to Nero's plans for new Rome. This gives Nero an idea and he sends for gang of bribed men to start the fires all over Rome.

Barbara and Ian escape separately from Vicki and the Doctor and arrive back at the villa before them. When the Doctor japes them the next morning about lying around doing nothing when they have been having all kinds if adventures, they take offence but eventually see the funny side.

I suppose this story is really the first attempt to bring real humour into Doctor Who, and thanks to Dennis Spooner's writing it works really well. It's also executed well by a cast who are clearly enjoying themselves. As a successful experiment then, it would be repeated and refined many times in the future.

Incidentally, one of the final scenes in which the Doctor views burning Rome from the safety of the hills, is rather unsettling, as he realises he was actually the one to start the great fire, he starts to chuckle to himself, these chuckles turn to huge menacing belly laughs , and one begins to wonder if he is mentally deranged!

Next time on Doctor Who Rewind we meet giant insectoids, the Zarbi.