Doctor Who Rewind - The Space Museum

The Doctor is getting so old now that he's being collected up by the nasty curator mad Moroks and made into an exhibit in their space Museum.

Yes the premise behind this four part story is pretty good and it all starts off quite promising.

It begins on the TARDIS when things start going very David Lynch. The crew experience time running backwards, jumping around, and even getting stuck. One minute they are wearing their crusade clothes and the next they back in their normal ones, without having any memory of changing.

It's all very bizarre and slightly worrying but as always the Doctor thinks it's terribly exciting. He can't even be bothered to answer Ian's persistent questions about how they abruptly managed to change their clothes, brushing the whole thing off with his usual, oh don't worry about that now my dear boy.

Before the TARDIS materialises on planet Xeros, we get a rather nice looking panning shot, on film, across a number of space ships of varying shape and design. They are obviously models but the effect is so pleasing that it kind of adds a cinematic feel for a few seconds.

Once the TARDIS lands the weirdness continues, the crew don't leave any foot prints when they walk. They discover a large building housing all manner of scientific machinery. A nifty bit of forced perspective gives the impression that the Doctors hand goes right through one of these devices when he tries to touch it.

Soon the crew run into the caretakers of what they have already correctively surmised as a space museum. These are the Moroks, who wonder about the place organising the museums exhibits based on their greatest conquests. They all sport these giant Gary Glitter type quiffs and I expected them to break into a chorus of Do You Wanna Be In My Gang, whenever they were on screen.

It soon becomes apparent that for some reason, the Moroks can't see Barbara, Ian, Vicki or the Doctor. And things become even more stranger when a Darlek shell turns up as one of the exhibits. But things really enter the twilight zone when the first episode ends with the crew staring back at themselves, prominently displayed in a case, as one of the prized exhibits.

As episodes go, not bad. Intriguing, original and thought provoking. Unfortunately the problem is, there are another three episodes left, which do little to build on the promising start.

There's quite a bit of wondering around aimlessly, the fondling of chins, scratching of brows, and much pointing purposely. After which, the Doctor concludes that what they have in fact witnessed is their own future, and what they must do, is to somehow change that future so that they can avoid ending up as still life exhibits. But how they achieve this though is another matter.

Soon enough time seems to catch up with the travellers, they are no longer invisible, the Moroks can see them and lose no time in capturing the Doctor, who is bound for the machine which will freeze him in readiness for being displayed.

Through-out the course of next three episodes, the story winds along a very timey windy road in order to reach its conclusion. We meet the Xerons, supposedly young angry revolutionaries who have been enslaved by the Moroks, but you wouldn't think it, they are so laid back and reluctant to try anything which might set them free, they end up sitting around instead speaking in soft well spoken accidents. And what on earth is going on with their eye brows?

If it wasn't for Vicki turning up and giving them the idea to break into the armoury I'd be having to sit through another ten weeks of this stuff. And when they do get hold of the guns, it's like a little light bulb goes on in their heads, they even say to one another, wow we've got guns now! Look at us.

Meanwhile the Doctor goes through the freezing process, but Ian (yet again) overpowers several guards, and finds his way to the conversion room where he gets Morok leader Lobos to reverse the process.

Before the gun clad youngsters can finally take back their planet and dismantle the muesum, there is just enough time for some very suspect fight scenes. By the shear lack of enthusiasm from both sides of the battle it's a wonder anyone can be bothered to take arms. At one point a Morok guard tries to take back a gun from Ian and the attempt is so slow that Ian has chance to go off to the toilet, have a poo, read the newspaper, stop for a beer and watch Gone With The Wind, twice, before seeing the threat away.

I won't spoil the final reveal as to why the TARDIS jumped a time track in the first place but its equally as silly as the rest of the final three episodes. It's just a shame that the same level of strangeness and unpredictability couldn't have been continued from that first episode. In fact this serial would probably benefit from the BBC losing those last three episodes.

Next time on Doctor Who Rewind, the Daleks do battle with the Mechonoids, and we say goodbye to one set of companions for another.